The Q life Grief Journey

Quinten, 

I don’t know where you are now, but I know where you are not.

You are not in pain.

You are not tired.

You are not fighting.

And that alone brings me a kind of peace I didn’t know I could hold.

You were always my baby brother.

Not because you were small, but because you were gentle in a world that is not.

Because your heart stayed soft even when your body had to be brave.

I miss you in ways that don’t have words.

I miss the way you made things feel lighter just by being there.

I miss the version of myself that existed when you were still here, the one who didn’t know yet what this kind of loss felt like.

You left in the middle of things.

In the middle of our lives.

In the middle of plans and jokes and futures we assumed we had.

And yet… somehow, even in leaving, you gave us something.

You taught me about life.

About love.

About forgiveness.

You lived wild and free, fully, loudly, honestly.

Even while you were fighting for your life, you were still living it.

Laughing. Loving. Showing up. Choosing joy anyway.

You didn’t just endure, you embodied what it means to be alive.

And the greatest gift you gave me was this:

You taught me how to forgive our mom.

Because of you, the walls came down.

Because of you, my heart softened.

Because of you, our family healed in places I didn’t think could heal.

Because of you, my relationship with her was restored.

She is in my life now.

She is in her grandson’s life now.

And that is beautiful.

That is a miracle.

And that miracle has your fingerprints all over it.

I wish you had stayed.

God, I wish you had stayed.

But I also know this:

You gave everything you had while you were here.

You loved us well.

You were loved deeply.

You lived with purpose even when the road was unfair.

You changed us.

You changed me.

I carry you with me now, not behind me, not above me, but within me.

In the way I love.

In the way I forgive.

In the way, I slow down.

In the way, I notice the beautiful and the fragile.

You are still part of this family.

Still part of us.

Still shaping our lives.

You are not gone, you are woven into who we are becoming.

You matter.

You always did.

I promise you this:

You will not be forgotten.

Not in our stories.

Not in our laughter.

Not in the quiet moments when your name drifts through our minds and lands gently in our hearts.

You are still my brother.

Still my teacher.

Still my friend.

Forever your sister.

Always loving you.

Never without you

Whitney