Category: Uncategorized
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Sometimes grief doesn’t announce itself with tears. Sometimes it hangs quietly on the back of a truck seat. A few days ago, James found Quinten’s fishing vest. Without saying much, he draped it over the passenger seat in his truck. That’s where it rides now. Not because he forgot to put it away. Because he…
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One year. Somehow, an entire year has passed since I held Quinten’s hand for the last time. A year since I whispered, “Go with God.” A year since I heard the words I miss most: “I love you, Momma.” People often say that time heals. I have learned that time doesn’t heal the loss of…
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Today marks three years since James and I drove to get Quinten and take him to the emergency room. At the time, we thought we were dealing with a temporary emergency. Something that would be diagnosed, treated, and eventually become just another story we would tell. We had no idea that morning would divide our…
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I recently saw this cartoon that stopped me in my tracks. “Oh no. Here comes Janie. She’s the one who’s always talking about her dead son.” The cartoon was meant to make people think. It certainly made me think. Because if I’m being honest, sometimes I’m afraid I am Janie. I talk about Quinten a…
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One of the strangest things about grief is that the world expects you to keep going. The bills still arrive. The emails still come. The meetings still happen. The deadlines don’t move. And somehow, after losing someone you love, you’re expected to return to work as though your heart hasn’t been shattered. I remember how…
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One of the strangest parts of grief is the guilt that can come with having a good day. No one really talks about that part. People talk about sadness.About crying.About heartbreak and loneliness. But they don’t often talk about the moment you laugh again and immediately feel guilty for it. Or the moment you catch…
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There are days when I miss taking care of Quinten so much that it physically hurts. That may sound strange to people who have never walked through caregiving. Most people see the exhaustion first. The appointments. The medications. The schedules. The sleepless nights. The constant worry. And yes, all of that was real. Caring for…
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Mother’s Day is coming. And for the first time in my life,I will go through it without hearing from one of my children. I’ve never had a Mother’s Day without Quinten. Not one. There was always a call.A text.A visit. And always those words,the ones I can still hear so clearly in my mind: “I…
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There is a moment no one prepares you for. It’s not the moment of death. It’s the moment after. When everything goes quiet. Not just in the room, but in your entire world. The waiting is over. The knowing is no longer something you carry. It has happened. And suddenly…there is nothing to brace for…
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This month is hard. Not in a general way. Not in a “grief is always there” kind of way. In a specific way. Because this month holds the dates that walked Quinten to his grave. The last chemo. The day they said it. “There’s nothing else we can do. The cancer is not responding.” And…
The Q life Grief Journey 