Category: Uncategorized
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I made it through the first year. I have heard people say that the first year after losing someone is the hardest. Just get through the first birthday. The first Thanksgiving. The first Christmas. The first Mother’s Day. The first anniversary. Once you’ve survived all of those “firsts,” somehow, things are supposed to start getting…
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Becoming a mother while learning how to live without Quinten. Most of the stories on The Q Life are told through my experience of losing my son. But Quinten’s death created many different kinds of grief within our family. This week, I’m honored to share my daughter Whitney’s story, the story of losing her brother…
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Every Saturday at noon, the sirens sound. For most people around here, they’re simply the weekly tornado siren test. For me, they mean something entirely different. They mean Quinten. Saturday has been family dinner day in our family for years. And around noon, when those sirens sounded, Quinten would arrive. It became so predictable that…
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Dear Everett, Happy first birthday, sweet boy. Someday, when you are old enough to understand these words, I hope you will read this letter and know just how much your arrival meant to our family—and especially to your Granny. You came into this world during one of the most difficult seasons of my life. Just…
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We almost never recognize “the last time” while we’re living it. No one tells us. There isn’t a warning. No voice whispers, “Pay attention. This is the last one.” If we knew, we’d linger a little longer. We’d hug a little tighter. We’d listen a little more carefully. But life doesn’t work that way. We…
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Sometimes grief doesn’t announce itself with tears. Sometimes it hangs quietly on the back of a truck seat. A few days ago, James found Quinten’s fishing vest. Without saying much, he draped it over the passenger seat in his truck. That’s where it rides now. Not because he forgot to put it away. Because he…
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One year. Somehow, an entire year has passed since I held Quinten’s hand for the last time. A year since I whispered, “Go with God.” A year since I heard the words I miss most: “I love you, Momma.” People often say that time heals. I have learned that time doesn’t heal the loss of…
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Today marks three years since James and I drove to get Quinten and take him to the emergency room. At the time, we thought we were dealing with a temporary emergency. Something that would be diagnosed, treated, and eventually become just another story we would tell. We had no idea that morning would divide our…
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I recently saw this cartoon that stopped me in my tracks. “Oh no. Here comes Janie. She’s the one who’s always talking about her dead son.” The cartoon was meant to make people think. It certainly made me think. Because if I’m being honest, sometimes I’m afraid I am Janie. I talk about Quinten a…
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One of the strangest things about grief is that the world expects you to keep going. The bills still arrive. The emails still come. The meetings still happen. The deadlines don’t move. And somehow, after losing someone you love, you’re expected to return to work as though your heart hasn’t been shattered. I remember how…
The Q life Grief Journey 