The Q life Grief Journey

Our first summer on the chicken farm, 2023, began with the promise of peaceful days and simple joys. But on June 30th, the eve of the 4th of July weekend, a phone call shattered that tranquility, forever altering our lives.

An unfamiliar number flashed on my phone screen. Usually, I’d ignore it, but an unsettling intuition compelled me to answer. It was a nurse calling about my 34-year-old son, Quinten. Since Easter, I’d sensed something was amiss. He wasn’t himself, a subtle but persistent worry gnawing at me.

The nurse, from a small-town hospital two hours west, explained that Quinten had arrived with a dangerously distended bladder, on the verge of rupture. After sedation, catheterization, and an ultrasound, they discovered a mass in his pelvis. Due to the holiday weekend, she advised us to retrieve him and seek care at a larger city hospital.

The two-hour drive to pick him up was filled with apprehension. We were unprepared for the stark reality of his deteriorating health, so different from the image we held of Easter. We rushed him to a city emergency room, where initial assessments led to a referral to a urologist and discharge.

However, the reprieve was short-lived. Within two days, Quinten was back in the emergency room, writhing in agonizing pain. A series of ER visits, primary care appointments, and urology consultations followed, a frustrating and agonizing period of uncertainty.

It wasn’t until early September, when his kidneys began to fail, that the devastating truth emerged: Quinten had a rare and aggressive form of testicular cancer that metastasized to his lower abdomen, liver, and lungs. We were immediately referred to the OU Stephenson Cancer Center.

Amidst this chaos, our small cabin on the farm became a sanctuary. It provided Quinten with a place to live, a space to heal, and a sense of normalcy as he endured countless treatments, fighting for his life with unwavering courage.

Over two years have passed since that fateful phone call. Quinten’s strength and resilience were a constant source of inspiration. Each day he spent with us on the farm was a precious gift. We hold onto these moments, these shared experiences, with profound gratitude.

We are immeasurably thankful for every day we had with him.